A Little Rock

This is a post I have had saved in my pocket for a while now.  I actually re-wrote it, though, to fit the circumstances.  It is a sappy blog but one that I have wanted to post...just at the right time...

My wife, Kaila, is such a wonderful, beautiful person inside and out.  I love being married.  I love her deeply.  That being said...like any married couple (or anyone in any relationship) we fight.  Sometimes a lot and sometimes not at all.  It's really a toss up from day to day.  There are days when I can be a complete and total butthead.  And there are days when she is an angel and I'm a demon.  Every once in a while she is less than cuddly, too!  But here is where I am going with this...

...This rock on the right is just a rock with Kaila's name written on it in Sharpie.  It is nothing special.  Except that it is to me.  I keep this rock in my pocket every. single. day.  Every time I reach into my pocket to grab a pen, some change, chapstick, or even lint and my hand brushes against that rock I think of Kaila.  I try to make it a practice to quickly pray for her in that moment as well...if I'm being honest, then I have to say that I don't always do that but I try.  I have carried this rock in my pocket since my junior year at college.  I was on a retreat with other ministry students as part of our curriculum.  We had lots of opportunities to reflect and pray and whatnot.  During some quiet time at the retreat I splashed around in a little creek and I was thinking about Kaila and our relationship.  We had not yet said "I love you" and I was unsure whether it was too early to say this dreaded phrase.  I felt that I did love her but I wanted to make sure that it was what God wanted for both of us.  I was looking into the clear water and the pebbles and rocks beneath my feet (barefoot, naturally) and a rock stood out to me.  It wasn't fancy.  Brown. Rocky.  Smooth.  Almost a perfect rectangle shape.  I liked it.  But it was just a rock.  I picked it up and held it in my hand while praying for Kaila and for our relationship.  It was time to move forward and the group was moving up the trail and the rest of the day wore on and I stuck the rock in my pocket.  At the end of the day the group got back to the place we were staying and I emptied out my pockets and there was this rock...I instantly went back to that moment with my feet in the stream and the sunlight pouring down on me between the leaves and branches above.  Thinking of love and God and direction.  There was a Sharpie on the bed next to mine and so I grabbed it real quick and wrote Kaila's name on it, smiled, and set it back down.  [Side note: I accidentally ended up stealing the Sharpie and it was my professors...sorry James].

Since that day I have made that rock a very specific part of my routine.  I eventually did tell Kaila that I loved her!  And then, several months later, I asked her to marry me!!! This rock takes me back to that day in the stream when I felt God encourage me to pursue Kaila further and to chase after love.

To Kaila,

I love you so dearly.  I am sorry when I suck and I am so happy for your love.  I am excited for the rest of our life and whatever God may have in store for us!  I love you, boo!

What does it mean to engage in an honest pursuit of Truth?

First thing I want to say, briefly, is an apology for my seeming lack of a post last week.  I actually did post but it was a draft I had written up back in February but hadn't found a good time to post.  So it apparently posted with the original draft date instead of for last week.  I have since learned that I am a dingus and have learned how to make sure that doesn't happen again =)

Short Version:

Now, I have a small confession: I listen to Catholic radio almost daily.  I am not saying anything bad about the Catholic Church!  Please recognize that right now.  I am a firm believer that we can learn truth from anyone.  The Spirit has equal opportunity and ability to speak Truth by various modes and means.  I do not agree with the Catholic Church on certain theological issues or some points of policy.  There is no need to list these here.  However, I sincerely appreciate the Catholic respect for the authority of Scripture, the reverence for mystery of the faith, and the appreciation for the tradition of the Church.  I have been able to grow from listening to Catholic radio, believe it or not.  I have been stretched by the study of scripture and of tradition and of God on the radio.  Weird, right?

I have an overwhelming appreciation for Dietrich Bonhoeffer as well.  In my senior year I was "forced" to read the biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer written by Eric Metaxas and, while biographies are rarely fun to read, I are it up.  I loved it.  I learned from the life of Bonhoeffer.  I was stretched and challenged.  Again, theology and policy might be different, but I still learned and grew so much from him.  I have had the privilege to grow from his life and works despite the fact that he was forgotten by many and studied by few.

Why am I talking about any of this?  Because I think it is imperative that we keep open minds and open hears.  Because I know that there is so much more to learn and to grow and that there is so much more stretching to take place.  Am I saying that listening to Catholic radio and reading a biography of a Lutheran theologian are life changing? Not necessarily.  Am I saying that these things, and others, can bring us closer to God?  I think I am.  Whether I reject or accept any truth put before me makes no difference...unless it is the Truth that I am rejecting.  But as long as I do so by searching in honest pursuit of Truth, rejection or acceptance of these truths matter almost none at all.  I have found that it is often the pursuit of Truth that really promotes the growth in my life, and maybe others', too..  And if that is the case, then to reject Truth is sin.  The Truth that brings us closer to right relationship with God and with others.  If that is our intention, then I think we can grow closer to God by keeping open hearts and open minds to those of other beliefs, theologies, policies, practices, worldviews, etc.

Always Seeking Truth,


Dylan

My Attempt to Further Understand Gospel

What exactly is the Gospel message? I have always thought and always been told that it is salvation, plain and simple. It encompasses so much more than that, but it is still salvation at its core. But...is that true? I am not at all doubting the Gospel as salvation, please don't think that! Although, I was recently offered another interpretation. Maybe not a different interpretation, but something added...




In a video with Mark Batterson, as part of his series called "Trading Your If Only Regrets for God's What If Possibilities," he begin to clarify on what he meant when he talked about Gospel. He references 2 Corinthians 5:21, "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (ESV).  Then, Batterson spoke about how when we confess our sins they are transferred to Christ on the cross - salvation. Our sins are taken away and they died on the cross with Christ. He took the punishment for those sins and they are more than adequately paid for. But then, Batterson adds that there is a second "transaction" that takes place.  The righteousness of Christ is then transferred to us.

To summarize what he seems to be suggesting: when we confess our sins they are transferred to Christ and forgiven and then the righteousness of Christ is given to us in return.  Let me just say that this seems simple and carries the "duh" factor with it, but wow does it make such a big difference.  At least to me.  I totally get the transfer of sins to Christ on the cross.  I readily see that in 2 Corinthians 5:21 here (and in other Scripture obviously).  What I seem to have missed was this transfer of righteousness.  And I think what I am wrestling with here is exactly what that righteousness means...

From what I know and understand of the Greek dikaiosyne (dih-kai-ah-soo-nay), which honestly is not that much, there is a lot of debate surrounding the exact translation of the term.  It seems that it is a difficult word to translate because it has two meanings from the Hebraic roots that are separate concepts in English.  In the Hebraic/Jewish context the word seems to stand for "judicial approval" as well as "divine approval." (I am simplifying here and have made no attempts at an in-depth word study) It appears that this word means to be in "right standing" with the authorities, to be on the right side of the law, and it means to be in "right standing" with God, as well.  In English, there really just isn't a great word that encompasses both of these meanings.  Righteousness in English really means closer to the idea of "divine approval."  Actually, I am not sure that I have ever thought of the term righteous as having to do anything with "judicial approval."  

Let's roll with these ideas, though, just briefly.  Jesus was understood to be righteous, obviously.  So he was in correct standing with the authorities and with God.  Except...he wasn't.  As far as judicial approval goes, he was quite far away from the standard presented at the time.  Off the map, actually.  I don't think that anyone at the time would have argued for Jesus' right standing among the authorities and with the Law, except for his followers.  However, we know that Jesus was indeed in right standing with the Law!  Not just the Law of the Pharisees but the true Law of God.  The Law of Love, which Jesus presented to his followers.  

I don't think I need to make the argument for his right standing with God.  Jesus is God.  I am not sure there is much more I can say without getting into an entirely different, and much longer, discussion.

So, where do we stand now?  The Gospel message is entirely about salvation.  But it does seem to be in two parts!  When we confess our sins and accept the call of Jesus the Christ those sins are transferred to the cross of Christ and are dead and forgiven entirely.  But then the righteousness of Christ is transferred to us.  This righteousness is his standing with the Law of Love and his standing with God.  And by this it means that, upon accepting Christ, our sins are forgiven and we go from living separated from God by sin to being reconciled with Him and then we are immediately gifted with this righteousness that puts us in good standing with God on all levels.  It is so much more than salvation as we tend to think about it.  This is salvation with even more grace thrown on top.  Not only are our sins forgiven, we are given a head start into our new life.  I am truly struggling to communicate clearly what I think this means for us and for that I truly apologize.  It is a slight nuance but the slightest nuances can make a world of difference.  

In my attempt to understand I oftentimes can muddle things up. As always, comments and questions are appreciated in these thoughts and ramblings. 

Seeking Truth,

Dylan

People Pleasers, Truth Speakers, and Paul

I just have a brief thought to post today.  I waffled back and forth on whether or not to expand on what I am about to say but I think it is a simple point and it doesn't need to be weighed down...

In Galatians Paul is writing a harsh word to the church.  He is being open and honest with them and can be almost cutting at times in his sincerity.  In Galatians 4:16-18 we see Paul write, "Have I now become your enemy because I am telling you the truth?  Those false teachers are so eager to win your favor, but their intentions are not good.  They are trying to shut you off from me so that you will pay attention only to them.  If someone is eager to do good things for you, that's all right; but let them do it all the time, not just when I'm with you."  Paul is bringing them a truth that is hard to speak but even harder to hear.  Essentially, he is calling them out on their garbage with the intention of making them stronger.  Sometimes in life we are blessed with people that will speak a harsh word in truth in order to make us stronger and better.  Sometimes we have people in our life that tell us what we want to hear because they ultimately do not care about us or because they are trying to seek some gain.  Now, there are those, myself included, that are people pleasers and it is much easier to tell someone what they want to hear than to possibly harm or disappoint them in some way.  I am guilty of that.  People like myself, people pleasers, do not do with bad intentions.  But maybe the results are the same sometimes.  I have been blessed to have a few people in my life that have spoken some truth to me that I absolutely did not want to hear.  They were not fun things to hear but necessary and good for me.  Kind of like when you have to take pills that are meant for horses to swallow, not humans.  Ultimately for good but not fun at all.  This is where Paul is coming from when he speaks to the Galatians.  He is giving them something exceedingly difficult to swallow but he desperately wants them to learn and grow for it and he only does it out of his overwhelming love for them.  Where am I going with this?  If you haven't figured it out yet, all I am saying is this:

Find those people that love you enough to tell you the truth and speak to you open and honestly because they are the ones that will bring you closer and closer to Jesus in your walk with Him.  If you aren't religious at all, then those people will help you develop into a more well-rounded human being.  Plain and simple.  You NEED these people in your life.  If you are blessed enough to have a person like that in your life already, then HOLD ON TO THEM!  AND THANK THEM FOR IT!

This blog has been started because I want to seek the Truth.  Whatever that may be.  So themes of truth and honesty are huge to me.  Living a life in Christ is living a life in constant pursuit of finding and living Truth.  Real, tangible, Christ-likeness sort of Truth.

Thank you all who read, as always.


Seeking Truth,

Dylan

Navigating the Slumpy Mires of Life...Kinda...

Sometimes I don't have much to say.  Other days I write and talk prolifically (aka word vomit).  Last week was one of those instances in which I had very little to say and almost nothing to share.  It was one of those weeks when I just wanted to take a break from everyone and everything.  It wasn't that things were necessarily bad or that life was crazy busy.  I just didn't feel like talking and sharing.

That feeling persisted up until yesterday evening.

It was Wednesday which means that youth group was coming up.  To be honest, I was less than excited.  I had read what I was teaching on but I hadn't prepared.  All day at work I had it in the back of my mind.  I got home and try to hammer out some stuff.  I found some cool commentary information and had a fun idea and so on and so on.  Everything came together well.  Not that it was overwhelmingly awesome.  It was alright.  Not that good of a lesson.  Nothing special.  Just another thing.  It was getting closer to time for youth and I was taking the lengthy drive to the church.  Not thinking about much.  Just doing what needed to be done.

When I got to the church I walked in, saw some teens run around and said hello to some people.  I popped my head into the youth room, stood next to the adults for a minute, realized how awkward I was and went to get coffee.  I got some coffee and came back to the youth room...this is where things turned.  I was walking towards the adults and said to myself, "I'm closer to most of the teens age than their ages...I'm gonna go hang out with some teens because I have nothing to talk about with these adults."  So I did.

I walked into the gym and saw some crazy teenagers running around with a basketball with all but the safety lights turned off.  One kid was just running around looking for a basketball because he wanted to play.  I sipped on my coffee and talked to some of them as they ran around, stopping long enough to respond to whatever I was asking them.  I slouched against a wall and just sat there chatting with a handful of them, again while they ran around (playing dodgeball I guess except everyone was running wherever they wanted to...maybe they were just running around just because).  I was enjoying it a lot!  It was great to just chill and chat with the students.  Then the guys started taking three point shots and half-court shots and we were all laughing and cutting up with one another.  Funny side note: one student decided to try and dunk the basketball and ran up and it looked like he might get close and then another student raised the rim by just a couple inches at the last second and the whole thing turned into a fail but we all laughed about it (including the student going for the dunk, so please don't think that he was being picked on because he was cool with it, too).

Eventually, one of the adults called for everyone to come on because it was time for groups.  It was time to teach on the passage that I wasn't so sure about.  We all went upstairs and the students came in to the class...all three of them...there were usually 7-9 students so we were at less than half of our typical crowd!  My teaching lesson was not prepared for such a drastic change so it was time to do what I always do when things are not entirely going my way: I threw it out and decided to wing it.  Holy Spirit speak, I prayed.  What happened next completely caught me off guard!

We wrote our names on the board for a mini game we play every week now and I wrote mine in Greek for some reason.  It was perfect, though.  For the next fifteen minutes we talked about Greek and I showed them the alphabet, the sounds they make, some fun words, and other random stuff.  In case y'all didn't know, I love Greek.  I geek out about Greek.  After that I got to take a passage of scripture that probably had little to no meaning to these three students in middle school and make it something easy to understand and applicable.  Whatever that means to different people...but more importantly I had the blessed opportunity to, in whatever teeny-tiny way, educate and disciple others in the ways of Christ.  I literally came alive while at youth that night.  I got to spend time with teens, build relationships, teach some Greek, and then I got to teach a difficult passage in a way to make it understandable for middle school teenagers!  It was truly great!

Now, this is not just a journal entry in my public diary...I ain't about that...I promise that this has all been leading somewhere.  I know that 99.9% of anyone ever has, at some point in their life, succumbed to the day-to-day routine and pulled away from everything that makes us truly feel and live.  Maybe that isn't a bad place to be in life from time to time, minus the pulling away from things.  However, I think that there is a lot to be said about the process of going through those moments.  They teach us something.  I have not had any luck of finding my vocational ministry niche, yet.  But what I learned yesterday was that I come alive when I am working with people, especially teens, and doing what is necessary in order to educate and disciple people into better understanding and relationship with Christ.  I think that is the key to getting out of these slumpy mires of life.  I truly believe that each Christian is called, in some degree or another, to be in ministry somewhere and somehow.  It is not that I am saying that everyone is called to be a pastor of some sort.  Some people really shouldn't be, honestly.  Sorry, that is just how it is sometimes.  What I am saying is that Jesus tells us in Matthew to make and mature disciples and that means that all of us are called to do just that.  For some that is translating scripture to peoples around the world that do not have scripture in their language yet.  For others it might be making lasagna and writing a kind letter for their neighbor across the hall whose mother recently died.  For some others it might be running for some political position in order to do good work at a governmental level.  All I am saying is that there is a passion somewhere inside of you and God wants you to do exactly that for Him and His people.  So go do it.  That is the best way to get out of the mires of life: lean into Jesus and do good for Him.  (side note: sometimes we have to do things we aren't passionate about in order to do good for God as well).  I hope this makes sense and I didn't ramble on too much with my story earlier.  Thank you to all who read.  I deeply appreciate and respect you!!!

Seeking Truth,


Dylan Miller

My plea to all of my family

A good friend of mine posed a question to me the other day.  He said, "Do you have things you do to de-stress from the week?"  I think I answered with something really lame but that conversation included four other dudes and so the conversation quickly moved away from my response and no one brought it up again, much to my relief.  As I reflect on that question, though, I have come to a realization.  I really don't have a healthy way to de-stress.  At college one way I would de-stress is have intense conversations about God and theology and religion (all of them).  Those conversations breathed life into me.  I don't think I knew it at the time.  I was blessed to have a conversation like that with four very close friends and it reminded me again and gave me such a sense of peace.  It was like all the thoughts had been building up in my head, creating some pressure, and I was able to get everything off my chest, process with the counsel of four other believers, and the pressure was relieved.  Did we solve any major issues? No.  Did we disagree?  On several points.  Did we leave that conversation thinking less of any of the others? NO WAY!  It was a beautiful discussion about how we work in tandem with God to the world.  Each of us coming from different perspectives and different belief systems but each of us were able to express our thoughts, comment on the others, and process through a tough issue together.

The topic of the discussion doesn't matter.  What matters is how it was handled.  I would like to share another of these conversations I had with one of my coworkers.  Let's call her Amy.  Amy wears a hijab and covers almost all of her skin except for her hands and face.  I thought it was a pretty good bet that she was a Muslim but I didn't think much of it.  She is funny and she is kind.  We have talked in passing (we work different shifts) and have had some brief conversations about random life and stuff.  Work chatter.  Then, one day, the topic of religion was opened up.  I often bring projects to work on while I work because it can get slow.  This time I had brought some material for youth group and I had left it open.  One of my other coworkers saw it and asked what religion I was.  I mumbled something offhanded because I thought it seemed like an obvious answer.  Amy laughed thinking it was obvious, too.  Then, I finished up my work, packed up my stuff, and started to leave.  But then...for some reason...I turned to Amy and asked, "Do people ask you what religion you are a lot?"  Amy rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, all the time!"  We started a conversation from there and were able to talk a lot about both of our religions.  The conversation was less about what we believed and more about why we practiced and what the purpose was.  For Amy it seemed that it was something that has meant a lot more to her recently, though I didn't ask that specifically.  She discussed her struggles with some of the rules of her faith (a lot of which are broken against her will because of American customs, by the way) and how people just do not understand it.  She told me about a story in which a truck driver called her a "f***ing Muslim" and how it was all "her peoples" fault for the way the world and America is now.  Amy shared with me about how people can be extremely mean and rude to her because of the way she dresses and because of what she believes.  At the end of the conversation, right before I left, I apologized for asking so many questions and mentioned that I hoped that I hadn't offended her or been too curious.  She assured me that I hadn't bothered her and that she appreciated me listening.  I thanked Amy for the great conversation and she thanked me, too.

A simple conversation.  Two very different faiths, belief systems, and opinions on life and on God.  In fact, oftentimes two opposing religions entirely.  Neither Amy nor I set out to convert the other.  We still haven't since.  We have had other conversations similar to this one and they have all been great!  I took the long way around to start this blog because I think it is important to have some background on the conversation my four friends and I had.  Imagine that conversation if we all had gotten angry and upset at one another.  When we worship the same God and follow the same faith.  Think of how that could have gone.  Then think of how, more often than not, those conversations do go down a bad path...apply that to the conversation I had with Amy...

How can we have healthy, life-giving conversations with non-believers when we are at each other's throats over theological differences that truly aren't so different??  Yes, I will give you that some issues are worth arguing over because there are certain doctrines that are core to the Christian faith and those should not be shaken.  Most of our theological differences boil down to differences in interpretation of Scriptures and, sometimes, what we consider to be Scriptures.  They are not discussions worthy of such division among the family of Christ.

Let me summarize what I am trying to say...Family.  Please, please, please stop bickering over theology and start speaking in love and understanding and agreement (even in the midst disagreement).  Before we try and convince the world it is broken, we should probably check our own hearts.  Let's stop arguing and start communicating.  Then let's go out and communicate with others in love and understanding.

Always Seeking Truth,


Dylan

The Enigma Called Prayer

“Lord, teach us to pray.”

My, oh, my.  The disciple that asked Jesus this question in Luke chapter 11 had no idea what he was getting into, and neither do we.

Prayer is a complete and total enigma.  Every religion has some form of prayer or at least something similar to prayer.  Among Christians, prayer can be a source of bitter judgment and it can, quite literally, change the world.  Some Christians will fight, tooth and nail, to defend how we pray and what we pray in the Christian faith.  There is even sometimes a debate about who it is we pray to exactly: Jesus? God? The Holy Spirit? The Saints? The Holy Mother? The Trinity?  Who do we address in our prayers?  In the Jewish faith it was pretty straight forward: God.  The Jewish traditions oftentimes held no mixture of misunderstanding to whom we pray.  There also was little debate about how to pray to God.  The Law had laid everything out very clearly and there wasn’t much room for differing interpretations (though there were definitely some!).  But by the time Jesus comes into the picture with His good news of God’s love, grace, redemption, salvation, and His overwhelming desire for all to be brought back into right relationship with Him the disciples, who were Jews, began to wonder if maybe there was something more they were missing out on when it came to prayer.  So, the boldest of them in Luke’s account asks the fatal request, “Lord, teach us to pray.”

Luke’s account gives a shorter version of the Lord’s Prayer, and the one that many Christians have memorized or tend to memorize is the Lord’s Prayer located in the gospel according to Matthew chapter 6.  I will be mainly referring to the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew for this post.  

If you need to reference it, then here it is:

Matthew 6:9-13 (NLT)

“Pray like this:

                Our Father in heaven,

                May your name be kept holy.

                May your Kingdom come soon.

                May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

                Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins,

as we have forgiven those who sin against us.

And don’t let us yield to temptation

But rescue us from the evil one.”

Side note: I have chosen the NLT because it is one of my personal favorite translations, but I will bring up some translation differences that I feel are worth pointing out and will reference those as they come up.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrestled with some of the same questions and thoughts the disciples did when it came to prayer.  It seems that he felt there was something more, something he was missing when it came to prayer.  This eventually led to him writing a brief book on the Psalms and prayer.  Here is a quote from his book, Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible, that really begins to capture where his struggle began and where it ended, “If we are to pray aright, perhaps it is quite necessary that we pray contrary to our own heart.  Not what we want to pray is important, but what God wants us to pray."  Bonhoeffer’s struggle stands where many of our struggles stand: how do we pray?  And his conclusion seems to be that, perhaps, there is something God DOES want us to pray and even HOW to pray.  Naturally, the next step includes the request of the disciples and Jesus’ response, the Lord’s Prayer.  In fact, Bonhoeffer states, “All the prayers of Holy Scripture are summarized in the Lord’s Prayer, and are contained in its immeasurable breadth.”  Bonhoeffer goes on in his book to say that the Lord’s Prayer is the complete summation of the Psalms and since Jesus the Christ, being God, prays the Psalms and the Lord’s Prayer, then to pray any of these are to pray with Jesus and to pray the very words of God.  To summarize Bonhoeffer, as we pray and read the Psalms we are praying with God about the things God wants us to pray about, and all these are summarized by Jesus the Christ in the Lord’s Prayer.

Sorry if that seemed a little convoluted but I truly believe it carries some vast significance.  If you want to read up on Bonhoeffer’s thoughts here I highly recommend checking out the book, “Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible” by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  It isn’t even 100 pages so it is worth the read, although it can be a little dense and intellectual sometimes. 

If the Lord’s Prayer is a summary of the Psalms, which are the words of God spoken and prayed by Jesus, then what is the Lord’s Prayer really about and why aren’t we paying closer attention to it? 

Let’s break it down briefly.  “Our Father in heaven.”  Good.  We now know who we are praying to.  Jesus kept it simple.  We pray to our father in heaven.  Now, we could talk about everything that this could imply but let me just say this…rather than offer up my theology of what it means to address “Our Father” and somehow force my ideology on you, I would recommend doing some research on your own, talking to some solid Christian friends, a pastor/preacher, etc. about what it means to pray “Our Father.”  The significant thing here is that Jesus gives us some direction.  When in doubt, pray to “Our Father.”  That’s what Jesus did and that is enough for me to start with!

“May your name be kept holy.”  Okay.  What is this about?  Indulge me for a second as I point out that the Greek here is actually in the imperative and so the word used here, “may,” implies the possibility or the hopeful request for the Father’s name to be kept holy but the Greek actually implies a command.  “Your name be kept holy.”  No need for the confusion of the word “may” because we get a better idea of what Jesus is saying without it.  Jesus is summarizing possibly one of the main reasons the Psalms were written, to glorify God.  When we pray to our father we always seek for his name to be made holy and for him to be glorified.  Glance at pretty much any Psalm and you will see the glorification of God proclaimed passionately.

“May your Kingdom come soon.”  Again, “may,” let’s just ignore it. “Your Kingdom come soon.”  Part of the Jewish Messianic prophecies included the coming Kingdom of God brought about by the Messiah.  This hope and prayer was present all throughout the Psalms.  In the Psalms there is a deep desire for the Kingdom of God to come as quickly as possible.  Just take a look at Psalms 23, 87, 145, just to list a select few.

               

“May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.”  Bye, “may.”  Imagine heaven on earth.  That is basically what is going on here.  That’s where this phrase probably comes from! (I actually don’t know if that is true at all, but it could be!)  But really.  Jesus is saying that our prayers to our father in heaven, who we want to see glorified in every single way and whose Kingdom we desperately want to see here on earth, should include that we want nothing more than for his will and his desires (which we know are always centered around love and, therefore, must be ultimately good) to be done here on earth just as they are in the heavens.  Again, this idea ties to the themes of God’s glory and his coming kingdom mentioned all throughout the Psalms. Pick a couple and check it out.

               

“Give us today the food we need.”  The translator here chose some interesting word choices.  Briefly, the word translated “today” has recently been up for scholarly debate on its exact meaning.  Here the words “we need” have been added with “today” to summarize a popular translation of the word epiousion (ep-ee-oo-see-on).  It is typically translated “as daily” but has more recently been seen with the idea of “just enough for today.”  But what is the point?  Maybe Jesus is reminding us of the Jews utter dependence on God throughout the Old Testament.  At one point, while they were in the wilderness outside the Promised Land, they were receiving food from God directly and part of the restrictions with this food was that they could only take as much as they needed. (Take a gander at Exodus 16)  Sound similar to what Jesus is suggesting we pray here?  When we pray to our father we must go humbly, seeking his glory, his kingdom, his will, and then we need to recognize that we must depend on him daily and that it is he who provides for us from day to day.  To ask for more than what we need today is to ask that we don’t need him tomorrow.  It is to literally ask God, “Give me enough so that I don’t need to ask you for anything tomorrow.”  If we view our journey as a relationship with God, then doesn’t this seem ridiculous and crazy?  Shouldn’t we want to be in conversation with someone to build a relationship?  I know it’s a tired argument “talk to God to grow a relationship just like you talk to your friends and family every day” but it really is true.  Especially when Jesus, when he is teaching us to pray, is implying that it needs to be a daily conversation and request.  The Psalms are riddled with instances of daily petitions to God from some need to be met.  Specifically, look at 77, 79, and 86 (some of my favorites that have to do with the daily presence and petitions to God).

“And forgive us our sins.” I feel as if I don’t need to explain this one much.  Again, look at any handful of Psalms and you will find the request for forgiveness of sins.  It is, in fact, fundamental to ask for the forgiveness of sins and seek to turn from them. 

“As we have forgiven those who sin against us.”  This part is a bit trickier and needs at least a little bit of explanation.  Psalms 32 and 51 both touch on the subject of forgiveness.  Jesus puts these Psalms into perspective in the verses after giving the disciples the Lord’s Prayer.  In verse 14 and 15 he says, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly father will forgive you.  But if you refuse to forgive others, your father will not forgive your sins.”  The Psalms provide such a beautiful tale of the honest search for forgiveness and then, when God grants forgiveness, the outpouring of love and glory to God.  Jesus is saying here in the Lord’s Prayer that extending forgiveness to others opens us up for this gracious forgiveness.

“And don’t let us yield to temptation.”  Boy, oh, boy do the Psalms talk about temptation and giving into temptation.  Look at a few random selections from the Psalms attributed to King David and you will learn of yielding to temptation.  David carried a great regret when he gave into temptation and had an intense affair with Bathsheba and then killed her husband.  It is also important to note that there is very little implication of the willingness of Bathsheba in any of this (yes, times were different then, but there is still room to argue for the “less-than-consensual affair”).  David knew temptation.  His passionate Psalms about these temptations, sins, and the seeking for forgiveness can attest to this.  Jesus is asking us to pray long, hard, and often for God to give us the strength to resist temptations.

“But rescue us from the evil one.”  Lastly, the Lord’s Prayer ends with a plea for our father to protect us, rescue us from evil.  Now, there is a translation issue here that can swing one way or the other.  The phrase, “the evil one,” which is used here, is a neuter noun in the Greek and can mean “the evil one” or can mean the abstract concept “evil.”  So the question is: was Jesus saying we should pray to be rescued from “the evil one” or “evil”?  I would like to argue two things; first, it could be both and maybe the translation doesn’t matter one way or the other, but, second, that he intended for it to be “evil.”  I think Jesus was worried more about us being protected from evil in general because, if you look at the other parts of the prayer, a pattern emerges.  Each line of the prayer encompasses something that is not in our natural tendencies to do, if that makes sense.  “Give us today the food we need” has a lot to do with daily dependence and communication with God but we tend to want to say “give me something once and for all.”  And then, “forgive us our sins as we have forgiven those who sin against us” even though we typically never want to forgive people.  There is something about doing the right thing that we just simply do not want to do.  I talked in depth about that a couple weeks ago.  So look there for reference on “The Reason Why I Do What I Do Not Want To Do.”  You could refer to this "evil" as our sinful nature.  You could refer to it as the work of Satan or the devil or demons.  You could refer to it as both.  I tend to lean towards the possibility as both.  Jesus is saying that we must ask God to rescue us from Satan, the devil, demons, etc. AND from evil that exists in the natural world and within our own sinful natures.  

So what is the deal with the Lord's Prayer?  It gives us a pattern to follow.  It is a summation of all of the prayers written down in the Psalms which were prayed thousands of years ago.  These Psalms were prayed by God through the mouth of Jesus the Christ.  These Psalms were inspired by the Spirit and exhaled by the Spirit in Jesus the Christ.  As we pray the Lord's Prayer we pray with Jesus and we pray with God himself for that which God wants us to pray.  

I am not saying that we need to only pray the Psalms and the Lord's Prayer.  But I am saying that our prayers should be strongly modeled after that which was prayed by Christ.  That is the power of the Lord's Prayer.  The Lord's Prayer teaches us a guideline for our prayers and offers shape for our prayers.  With this in mind, I have taken it upon myself to begin praying this pattern, as well as the Lord's Prayer itself, daily.  

As usual, thank you for reading!  And I would love to hear any questions or concerns!

Seeking the Truth,

Dylan

Charlotte - A Short Story

Well, here I am.  Running again.  The first rule when running is that you never have to be the fastest, just faster than the slowest person.  The second rule when running is that anything goes.  Speaking of anything goes…I bend down quickly and pick up a handful of the dirt from the side of the road, turn around, and throw it high in the air.  Then, I spin around quick as a flash and off I go. 

There, now they’ll run into the cloud of dust and hopefully it will blind them long enough to trip or at least slow down a little.  I can’t afford for them to catch up to me.  Not when that thing is so close behind.  How far away is this place, anyway?  I think they gave me some bad directions.  I hear gasps and sputters behind me.  I know that they just hit my cloud of dust and debris.  I hear coughing and I take a glance behind me and I really wish that I hadn’t…Oh, why did I look behind me!? I turn my head back immediately as I hear two short, piercing screams, cut off quickly. 

This is why I’m running.  I am running to save my life.  I have to run faster than the slowest person or I die.  I have to preserve my life, even at the cost of others.  I can feel the chill of the wind blowing against the tear rolling down my cheek.  But that doesn’t make it easy.

It doesn’t take long for them to finish…well…doing what they do to people…but I think I’m getting closer! Off in the distance is a bright orange sign with baby blue lettering standing tall and proud above the surrounding forests and the overgrown buildings from an age past.  Ivy and low bushes and weeds and occasionally some beautiful flowers like Chrysanthemums and multi-colored Magnolias and sometimes even sporadically growing rose bushes have overtaken much of what was once finely trimmed lawns and paved parking lots and roads and once proudly up-kept buildings.  Not that these things weren’t beautiful in their own way, but the beauty of nature persists over them in a more literal sense now.  Although, the people of yesteryear managed to build and construct a few things that have been able to withstand natures advances, like this sign.  Ah, I can read it now!  It looks like it says, “ALMOST THERE!” Wow…good thing this thing can’t read.  The sign had once had some professionally printed white letters but these have long since worn off and now the baby blue letters have been crudely painted on by an inexperienced hand, and it seems like they were painted rather hastily as well.

As the sign gets closer and bigger and larger with each step I begin to look for my next waypoint.  A dog in the park…this is so vague and so stupid.  How am I supposed to take the time to find a dog in a park when they are chasing me.  Those kids from before didn’t slow them down enough for me to be able to go on a search for a lost puppy! Just then the image of the two kids, blinded by my trickery, being attacked by that thing.  They couldn’t have been more than twelve, maybe ten, years old.  I give my head a quick shake in an attempt to rid myself of the memory.  I don’t have time to think about that.

As I approach the sign I realize that there is a town or something surrounding the sign, which makes sense.  Well, the best thing to do is find a park in the middle of this town-forest.  Good, that should be easy…

I am running down what I can only assume is the main street through the town and I see houses with white picket fences, red doors, green shudders, white siding, lovely brick chimneys, except that they are now falling apart and covered in greenery.  It is totally abandoned, like most small towns.  Wait.  What is that.  A street sign.  I glance behind me and I do not, or cannot, see it behind me and I strain to hear anything but I can only hear the occasional bird song and the soft hum of the activity of the forest surrounding me.  So, I take the risk and stop at the street intersection.  As I look around I notice a tiny, blinking yellow-orange glow.  Wow.  All this time and all this overgrowth and the street light is still functioning somehow.  That is just crazy. Then it hits me…that means that it has power.  Which means that somewhere around here there is a functioning generator.  And that means that someone must be around to keep the generator working!  That means there are people, or at least someone, here!!! I sprint over to a street sign and try to wipe off all the grime and vines.  The sign reads, “Trenton Memorial Park.”

THIS IS IT!  I FOUND THE PARK! Off in the distance I hear it.  The sudden, intense clacking and buzzing.  My whole body tenses and I burst forward into the park.  Run faster! Run! I shouldn’t have stopped for so long, what an idiot.  Where is that dog!? As I’m putting one foot in front of the other and trying not to trip on any rocks, concrete, or roots I am scanning left and right looking for a dog.  Or maybe something dog-like.  I don’t know what I am looking for!  I hear the clacking and buzzing getting a little louder.  Oh, God, please someone help.  I feel something snag the tip of my left foot.  I try and keep my balance and catch myself with my other foot. No, no, no, no! As my right foot lurches forward with the unexpected downward momentum I know that this could be it.  I could be done.  My right food lands at an awkward angle and I immediately can feel the stress on the tendons.  My heart is beating so fast I can feel it in my ears and in my fingertips.  Pain shoots up from my foot to my hip and I let out a short gasp of pain, but I somehow catch my balance and push off with my right foot in order to keep moving forward.  Every step hurts and I have slowed down a little. I don’t think anything is broken and I don’t think I have torn anything but I can still hear that thing.  It definitely knows where I am now, though, after I opened my big mouth.  I may have just killed myself…

It was at that moment, when I was totally preoccupied with my thoughts that I hear a startling sound that catches me off guard.  I hear a dog bark.  Just once.  To my right.  Without giving it another thought I cut to the right in the direction where I hear the bark.  Now, I am listening intently in that direction hoping to catch any other sounds.  A dog. In the park.  A literal dog.  This is ridiculous.  The clacking and buzzing has gotten closer and louder.  I am too scared to turn around and see how close it is.  I could probably see it now.  Those horrible eyes…Another bark.  Definitely closer this time.  And dead ahead!  I’ve got to be close!  I have to push myself!  I put every ounce of energy I have left into pumping my legs faster and faster.  As I squeeze between two tree trunks and burst out on the other side I am suddenly in the middle of an open field with thigh-tall grass.  Where did this come from?  I slow down long enough to get my bearing.  The sun is overhead but heading west.  It is probably still several hours until dark.  I have been heading east for quite some time.  The dog should be around here somewhere.  I risk everything and yell, “Here boy! Heeeerrrreeee, boy!” I see some movement in the grass and I can hear the dog barking, coming towards me.  I run closer to the dog.  He pops out close enough for me to see him and I come to a screeching halt. Running out of breath and energy with my ankle throbbing I pat the dog on the head instinctively, “Ya know, boy.  I’ve never seen a dog but, somehow, I knew you would look like this.  Now that I think about it, I’ve never heard a dog before either…so how did I know what you would sound like?”  The dog had long, blonde hair and a square-ish face with deep, brown eyes.  His tongue was hanging out of his mouth a bit as he panted and enjoyed the patting and scratching.  Then, suddenly, he made a growling, barking sound and his body tensed up and his hair began to stand on end.  I realize that while my mind wandered about this dog I had dropped my guard and stopped paying attention for the thing behind me.  I feel the hair on the back of my neck rise and I feel a shiver go down my spine.  I listen closely, too afraid to see what the dog was growling at. Where did it go?  I don’t hear anything…What is happening!?

Silence.  Nothing.  The most terrifying sound of all when you are surrounded by wildlife and nature and have recently been chased by something.  The dog barks again, bites onto my right shirt sleeve, and pulls me away.  This is just what I need to snap back to reality and both the dog and I break out into a sprint. In his haste, the dog tore off part of my sleeve but is still holding on to the scrap of dust –covered, mottled green and brown cloth flapping as he runs.  It is almost comical despite the horror that I know is right behind me.  I don’t even know where this dog is taking me.  Why am I doing things and remembering things that I know nothing about.  What is going on with me?  What if this dog is just leading me to another one of these things?  Are there more of them??

Suddenly, I am falling.  The ground just disappeared beneath my feet and I see the sun and sky disappear and a blackness and darkness surrounds me.  In the split second before I lose sight of everything above ground I notice the dog stop and turn around, panting, almost smiling. What is happening now?

I hit the ground with a dull thud, trying not to land badly on my injured ankle, and I quickly jump up to observe my surroundings.  The drop wasn’t as far as I thought.  Maybe just fifteen feet.  That didn’t hurt as much as I thought.  And did I land on something soft? What is going on?  The opening where I just fell through has closed already and, wherever I am, it is completely dark.  There is absolutely no light.  I blink a couple of times quickly in an attempt to make my eyes adjust faster but no luck.  A hear the sound of a speaker turning on, that small crackle of electricity when you flip a switch, and a familiar voices calls out to me, “Charlotte.”

“What do you want? Who are you? And where am I?  What is going on?  Why aren’t you answering me” I call back while pausing between questions, my voice rising in intensity with each question. 

The lights flicker to life and I realize that I am standing in a room with mirrored glass on all the walls.  The soft floor I landed on is actually some kind of orange and red and yellow shag rug from who knows what time period.  I see myself in the mirrors all around me.  I look at my dirty green-brown shirt with part of the right sleeve missing, from the dog.  My torn and tattered light blue jeans.  My shoes are covered in dirt and they are caked with mud. They used to be mint green but now are some kind of ugly, puke green color.  My long black hair that used to be so straight and would shine when it caught the light is now tangled and frizzy and has lost its luster significantly.  My dark brown eyes are bloodshot and they carry a deep sadness in them.  My soft, white skin is now bronze and scratched up and covered in scars.  My nose that used to look so small and dainty is now crooked from it healing wrong once when I ran into a tree and broke it.  My fingernails are chipped and rugged and short due to the constant clawing and climbing up trees and rocks.  Who is that?  I can tell it used to be me?  But who is it now?  Is this what I have become?

The voice speaks up again, gently this time, “Charlotte.  You are safe now.”

I lower my head, looking at the floor, and a wet spot appears on my shoe from the tear that fell off of my eyelash.  I’m safe.

The Reason Why I Do What I Do Not Want to Do

This week I have had something constantly coming to my attention.  It is something I have known that has been going on for a very long time.  It is also something that I keep telling myself is just an issue because my dad has always had a problem with it, too.  It is something that I tell myself all the time is just something I, and those around me have to deal with.  It isn’t something that is my fault, I tell myself.  But the truth is…it is something completely within my control with the help and grace of God. 

I have some serious anger issues.

I don’t scream and cuss people out or threaten to beat people up or anything.  It isn’t anything that really manifests itself in a way that people can see.  The only exception is that my wife sees it manifest often (and I am deeply sorry about that).  But it manifests itself within me.   Underneath the surface I feel like I am this raging sea of anger and frustration.  My thoughts really shouldn’t be heard by anyone because they are not suitable for public speech.  I feel so embarrassed and upset to share this but it is something that the Spirit has really been impressing on me since this past Sunday.  I don’t think there was ever any message or sermon or song or anything of the sort that opened up my eyes.  In fact, I am not even sure when I first noticed it.  I just remember thinking one day, “Wow.  Why am I so angry?”

I am human.  I am going to make stupid decisions and horrible choices.  But that isn’t really an excuse, is it?  Don’t we just use that as a way of covering up our sin? “Well, I’m only human.  Other people probably do the same thing I do, yeah?”  I have looked through Scripture and I can’t find anywhere where it says, “Someone worse than you is doing it, too, so don’t worry about it.”  I can’t even find anywhere in Scripture where it says, “Just say, ‘I’m sorry, Lord,’ and then it won’t matter that you are sinning and keep sinning.”  But…that is exactly what I think I do!  I don’t know where I got that idea.  I don’t know if I am just thick-headed and I just keep doing what I want to do or if I truly believe that I can just ask for forgiveness but keep on doing what I do.  Actually, no, it definitely isn’t the second option.  I’m just thick.

Paul puts it eloquently in Romans 7:14-24 (NLT) “So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good.  The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it.  Instead, I do what I hate.  But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good.  So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.  And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  I want to do what is right, but I can’t.  I want to do what is good, but I don’t.  I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.  But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.  I have discovered this principle in life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.  I love God’s law with all my heart.  But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind.  This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.  Oh, what a miserable person I am!  Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?”  Please note: all markings are my own.

(Let me add briefly here that anger issues aren’t the only problem that I have.  There are many, many things that I could look at in reference to this post and verse.  This is just the poison most afflicting me in my life right now.)

So, what is Paul saying?  Well, firstly, he seems to make the same excuse that I do!  “I am all too human,” and then Paul clarifies by stating that he doesn’t really understand himself (I don’t understand myself either).  But he goes further by making the claim that if I know that I am doing something wrong, then I must be in agreement that the opposite of the wrong (which would be the law he is referring to) is good.  Okay, cool.  So I really am still trying to follow God since I recognize my sin for what it is!  He goes on to say that, if this is the case, then I am not really doing wrong…it is the sin within me that is doing the wrong!  Woooooo! A way out!  It was never my fault at all! Call me Ponyboy because I am golden!...Okay…I have to admit…I don’t buy that.  Not. One. Bit.  And I do not believe Paul is saying that either.  His next statement is interesting, “I want to do what is right, but I can’t.  I want to do what is good, but I don’t.”  There is a distinction there.  If I want to do what is right but cannot, then it stands to reason that there is something that is not allowing for me to do what is right.  Then, if I want to do what is good but do not, then that is my explicit choice to not do the thing which is good.  Paul seems to be saying here that while there is definitely a sin issue in which we are prevented from truly doing what is right but there is still the option for us to do good despite that, and so often I choose not to do what is good.  I have struggled with this passage as simply being a cover up of, “Oh, sin made me do it!  I didn’t want to!  It was all sin’s fault!”  But recently, as I have reflected on this passage, I find that it says more about our choice to NOT do good than it is about sin FORCING us to do wrong.  Because, just as Paul says, whenever I want to do what is right, I am just incapable of doing it.  I choose to do wrong, even though I love God with all my heart.  Paul hits the nail on the head when he says there is something at war within me.  That thing is definitely sin.  It is my human desire to do what I want to do despite the fact that I know better.  It is my human response to do what I know is wrong even though I love God and want to do what is right.  It is sin that stops me in my tracks from doing what is right and points me towards doing wrong.  But it is still, every single time, my choice to not do what is good.  It just may not be my choice every time to do what is truly right…I hope that makes sense.  I think there is a small distinction in what Paul is saying that is easy to miss but it is crucial so that we understand that Paul isn’t just trying to give us an out.  It is so much more than just giving us an out.

Well, this passage kind of leaves us in a dark place.  We do what is wrong, can’t do what is right.  Sin has us completely tangled up.  It isn’t entirely our fault.  But it is still our fault in the end, at least in part.  If only Paul had left us something hopeful to leave on…Oh, wait! Silly me!  Romans 7:25 (NLT), “Thank God!  The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.  So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.”

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!  We have Jesus Christ!  The one person who can offer grace and forgiveness for our sins despite of our sinful nature that makes us a slave to sin!  I really, really want to obey God, but I can’t…apart from Christ.  That is Paul’s final message in this passage: there is hope…and that hope is in Jesus Christ to empower us to do what is good and forgive us when we do what is wrong.

I really struggle with angry thoughts.  When I am driving it is like a foul-mouthed, crotchety, cynical man is just fuming beneath the surface.  It stems from my sinful nature but I still have the choice to at least do what is good and focus on Christ and calm the man inside down.  Give him some soothing tea with honey and lemon, some cookies, and a soft couch.  You know, relaxing-type of stuff.  Instead, my confession is that, more often than not, I pepper spray the guy right in the face just to get him riled up even more!  Rather than try to put out the fire, I feed it kindling.  I confess my sin here and now.  I want to do what is right, but I cannot.  I want to do what is good, but I choose not to.  BUT, “Thank God!  The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord!”  I pray that Christ will forgive me of my sins as I have confessed them and that He will empower me to do what is right and to choose to do good.  I pray that these words are not mine, but the Spirit in me. 

Thank you all for reading!

Encouragement and Affirmation

There are times in my life that I get so frustrated with how bad things are going and other days where I could simply leap for joy.  Typical life stuff, ya know?  However, I have to say that I have been having some great experiences as of late.  I was able to preach to youth, had a great conversation with a student, I was able to engage in an open conversation with someone from another religion and learn from them (as they hopefully learned a little from me), and I was able to enjoy coffee with a friend and mentor.  All in all, a pretty good week!  I have also been working on a small lesson for the local youth group about Galatians 2.  I don’t have much to say about that chapter nor do I want to copy and paste it all here since, if you are reading this, can look it up on the internet that you are now on. 

That’s right.  I’m on to you.  Don’t be lazy.  Use that google search bar at the top of your screen!

I do want to say that I noticed in Galatians 2 that there are several themes to pull out but one that really hit me this week is that the chapter seems to have a lot to do with encouragement.  At least, that is what I have noticed.  After Paul has been teaching and preaching all over the place he comes to Jerusalem to tell the leaders there about all that he has been teaching the Gentiles.  What do they do?  They encourage and affirm him!  On top of that, they didn’t even have anything negative to say or anything to critique him on.  They thought he was doing a rather bang up job, in fact!  Despite their differences in teaching/preaching styles, audiences, and probably even their resources, they just wanted to affirm Paul and his friends!  Then, as if they simply had to give them some kind of advice, Peter, James, and John remind them to help the poor (which they were already doing), just as a reminder.

Why is it so difficult for us as Christians to offer encouragement despite differences?  Too often it seems that we, and I am definitely included in this, just nit-pick at our pastors, preachers, and teachers.  Then, in the last half of the chapter, Peter really goofs up.  Just in time to temper the beginning of the chapter involving encouragement, Paul offers some reproof for Peter when he really flubs up.  It is vitally important to offer encouragement as often as possible but it is also vitally important to correct someone when they are clearly in the wrong. 

Simply, as a default, we should offer encouragement and affirmation.  Then, as needed, the apostles instruct us to gently correct someone who is in the wrong. 

Although, please realize that just because someone believes differently then you doesn’t mean they are necessarily wrong.  Peter, in this instance, was not showing love to others (one of Jesus’ two most important commandments) and so he was shown the error of his way and he corrected his actions.  Now, if it had been about Peter believing that Christ would come back on a Tuesday while Paul believed he would come back on a Thursday, then that would be an issue of difference in belief but not one that necessarily needs corrected.  I hope that makes sense =)

Just a brief thought on this week.  A special thank you to those who have encouraged me, affirmed me, and occasionally corrected me!

Always Seeking Truth,

Dylan

What is the deal with Simon Peter, son of John???

This morning I had the privilege to speak to the youth at the church that I volunteer at.  Below is the revised manuscript for this format which I wrote for that opportunity (which is the first time I have actually written and used a manuscript and I did veer from it on more than a few occasions).  It was a great practice and I really worked hard on and prayed through for this message and I hope it was a benefit to at least one person.  This was my main focus for the week and so I was not able to blog but I want to post this here in lieu of my regular blog.  Thank you for reading =) 

Always Seeking the Truth,

Dylan

John 21:15-17

As I prepared for today the youth pastor encouraged me to share a bit of my story or a bit about myself.  Do you have any idea how broad that is??  There are literally so many things that I could talk about and only 10% of them are probably worth saying here.  However, I took the challenge.  The first thing I want to say is this:  I’m awkward…

…I am terrible at meetings people and at starting conversations.  I don’t know how to make small talk.  It just comes out all awkward and just kind of stumbles out of my mouth.  Now, I love having deep conversations with people.  If you wanted to talk to me about theology, or share about a struggle, or just vent about how much life sucks, then I would be all about it, whether I knew you or not.  It’s just how I’m wired.  But, please, please, please do not talk to me about the weather or some other form of small talk.  I’m also more than a bit nerdy. I love Doctor Who and have had many conversations about it and “what if” debates.  I am proud to admit that I have a T.A.R.D.I.S. mug and my own personal sonic screwdriver.  I’m also a big superhero nerd and I love everything about the Marvel Universe.  I also love theology and studying the Bible.  I love Biblical Greek.  I studied a lot of it in college and I still study it now.  I have even had the privilege to be able to translate whole letters of the New Testament thanks to the help of the professors at MVNU.

            But can I tell y’all something?  Can I just be honest for a second?  I’m just a regular dude.  Sometimes I can be a really not-nice person.  I can have some serious road rage.  I struggle with exaggerating the truth or not telling the whole truth.  Sometimes, I really do think that I know it all.  Sometimes I take advantage of people.  I fight with family and friends.  I can be really, really selfish. 

            I say all of this because I think it can be easy to look at Christianity or at other Christians and get caught up with this idea that we have to be perfect or at least be perfect on the outside.  I will be the first one to tell you that I am far, far away from being perfect or good or whatever word you want to use here. 

            The youth pastor told me that the youth group had been taking a look at the story where Jesus asks Peter three times if Peter loves Him.  This is such a great story and one that I find especially interesting.  I want to work through this short passage in John 21 today, verses 15-17.

            Let me start with a question: have any of you ever felt so much love that you were just almost in tears?  I have.  Isn’t it beautiful?  Because this is how I feel when I see pictures or videos of puppies…this is how I feel about some of my best friends…this is how I feel about my wife…BUT these aren’t all the same kinds of love!  We say love but we mean different kinds of love.  I love tacos and I love my parents. Let me clarify here that I love my wife WAY more than I love puppies or tacos.

            So I mentioned earlier that I love Greek.  Just like with any two languages, Greek and English have different ways of expressing similar thoughts, ideas, or words.  In English, there is one word for love but in Greek there are at least four commonly used words for love.  [Please note that rather than use Greek characters or attempt to be scholarly or fancy I am simply going to write the words out in English characters phonetically and use them as if they were regular English words.  This should help for them to be easy to read and shouldn't interrupt the flow of the writing/reading] These words are agape, phile, storge, and eros.  For example, storge means loves for family but eros means romantic or sexual love.  But today we are going to focus on agape and phile.

            But first let’s give some background for John 21:15-17. .

            The disciples left everything behind when a Rabbi, which means teacher, strides up to them and tells them, “follow me.”  From that point everything changed.  It was a huge honor for a Jew to be able to study under and learn from a Rabbi.  Such an honor, in fact, that they followed this Rabbi, whose name was Jesus, for years with no home or promise of basic necessities from day to day.  Then, they truly started to believe that their teacher, Jesus, was the promised Messiah, the savior God promised to the Jews.  Then, in a whirlwind of activity, he was taken away from them.  He was arrested, beaten, stood on public trial, was ridiculed in front of crowds of people, forced to carry his own cross to where he was would die, and was put to death by the most horrible means known at the time, crucifixion.  But then something amazing happened…he came back!  He came back from death and appeared to the disciples.  He came to them twice and then didn’t appear for quite some time.  Peter, one of the most well-known of the disciples who was the most rowdy and curious, since he was raised as a fisherman before following Jesus says to the others, “I’m going fishing.”  And they go with him.  They spend all night fishing without so much as a tug on the line.  Then, from the shore they hear a voice calling to them telling them to cast their nets on the other side of the boat.  Many of them were experienced fishermen who had spent all night fishing and were probably tired and frustrated but for some reason they decide to try it.  And wow did it work!  There were so many fish that they couldn’t haul them all in! 

            Then the disciples begin to realize that the voice is the voice of Jesus.  Peter, being the downright fool that he is, is so eager to meet Jesus that he dives into the water right then and swims to shore to meet Jesus.  Eventually, the others bring the boat in and they begin to cook the biggest, best breakfasts ever.  While they are finishing up their breakfast Jesus leans over to Peter and whispers, “Hey, Peter.  Can I ask you something?”

            This is where we jump in to John 21:15-17.

            John 21:15a – “After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’”  By the way, Peter’s name is Simon and his dad’s name was John.  No secrets here, sorry.  But Jesus is asking Peter here if he agape’s him.  Agape is the word that means love but means, “to love, value, to be devoted to, to love deeply and truly.”  And how Peter replies is interesting…

            John 21:15b – “’Yes, Lord,’ Peter replied, ‘you know I love you.’ ‘Then feed my lambs.’ Jesus told him.”  Peter replies to Jesus that he phile’s Jesus.  This word, phile, means “to be fond of, to have affection for, and denotes common interests and friendship.”  To grasp an understanding of phile think of Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love!  This word is used to express friendship.

            Jesus is asking, “Do you love me deeply and will you remain devoted to me, even more than these around you?” And Peter responds with, “You know that I love you as a friend.”

Then, in verse 16, the same pattern is repeated.  John 21:16 – “Jesus repeated the question, ’Simon son of John, do you love me?’  ‘Yes, Lord,’ Peter said, ‘you know I love you.’  ‘Then take care of my sheep.’ Jesus said.”  Jesus is again asking, “Do you love me deeply,” and Peter says, “You know I love you as a friend.”

Then, we read verse 17 John 21:17 – “A third time he asked him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’  Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time.  He said, ‘Lord, you know everything.  You know that I love you.’  Jesus said, ‘Then feed my sheep.’”  This last time Jesus switches words.  He says to Peter, “Do you love me, are you my friend?”  And Peter answers with hurt in his voice, “You know everything.  You know that I am your friend.”

The question is why does Jesus ask these questions?  Why does he use agape twice and phile the last time?  And why does Peter only respond with phile love instead of agape love?  Am I the only one with these questions?  Are any of you wondering the same thing?...Well, I think, and I do not pretend to know for sure, but I think that Peter is simply expressing his humanity.  Jesus is asking in verse 15, “Do you deeply love me and will you remain devoted to me more than anyone else?”  And Peter desperately wants to say yes.  But he knows that he has struggles and that he is selfish and that not even a week ago (I am making up the time frame here) he denied that he knew Jesus or even who he was and so he tells Jesus the truth, “You know that I cherish and love you,” and I think he is implying something here, “but I am not perfect in my love for you compared to others.”  So Jesus asks again, “Peter, do you deeply love and will you remain devoted to me?” And Peter, a little hurt, repeats himself, “You know that I love and cherish you…but I am not perfect in my love for you.”  Finally, Jesus recognizes where Peter is coming from, looks him in the eye and says, “Peter, do you love me as your friend?  Are you my friend?”  Peter, slightly devastated, replies, “You know everything.  You know that I love and cherish you as my friend.”

Jesus knows where we are at.  I know that Jesus knew that Peter was going to struggle to say that he loved Him with agape love, especially when compared to others.  So Jesus takes others out of the picture and focuses on Peter but knows that Peter is still crushed by his faults, failures, and insecurities.  Jesus removes the barriers of perfection, this Christian front we put up, that is caught up with the idea of agape love, gets on Peter’s level, and asks Peter if he is truly his friend.  This is where Peter is hurt so badly.  I need to say here that phile love is powerful.  John 5:20a says, “For the Father loves the Son…” and the word used for love here is phile.  God is said to phile love Jesus.  Powerful love.  This is the love that Peter owns up to, with pain and hurt in his heart, because despite his struggles and failures he does phile love Jesus and now Jesus is offering this love in response.

Jesus does not try to build himself up.  He does not want Peter to say how much he loves him just to make himself feel better.  When Jesus is asking if Peter loves him it is because Jesus is offering this love first.  Scripture tells us that he first loved us.  So when Jesus asks about our love it is only because he has extended this love first.  The love Jesus is offering this third time to Peter is not love that has been cheapened or lessened.  He is extending love despite the fact that Peter does not deserve it and does not feel that he deserves it.  He is extending love even though we cannot possibly reciprocate this agape love back to him.  We are Peter.  Jesus is offering us agape love but we cannot give it back.  So Jesus, who is God, and God is love, does not take away but adds more depth to the love that he offers in order that we might respond.  I do not think that Peter is so hurt because he has been asked three times.  He is so hurt and grieved because he is overwhelmed with the offering of love even though he does not deserve it nor does he feel that he does deserve it.

How many of us feel that we have fallen short of God’s love?  Unfortunately, I have to tell you that we all have.  Not a single one of us deserve God’s love.  But His love is offered to us anyway.  It is offered to us with such depth that even though we cannot be perfect in our love we can love God back.  How many have of us have felt that because of our failures, faults, and insecurities that we do not deserve to be loved by God?

Peter, one of the original disciples felt that he could not possibly love Jesus enough and that he did not feel that he deserved to be loved by Jesus.  You are not alone.  Now as we wrap up and leave.  Please go knowing that you are so deeply and irrevocably loved by a love that cannot be taken away and will always be offered to you by Jesus.  It is only up to you to accept this love in response.