A Little Rock

This is a post I have had saved in my pocket for a while now.  I actually re-wrote it, though, to fit the circumstances.  It is a sappy blog but one that I have wanted to post...just at the right time...

My wife, Kaila, is such a wonderful, beautiful person inside and out.  I love being married.  I love her deeply.  That being said...like any married couple (or anyone in any relationship) we fight.  Sometimes a lot and sometimes not at all.  It's really a toss up from day to day.  There are days when I can be a complete and total butthead.  And there are days when she is an angel and I'm a demon.  Every once in a while she is less than cuddly, too!  But here is where I am going with this...

...This rock on the right is just a rock with Kaila's name written on it in Sharpie.  It is nothing special.  Except that it is to me.  I keep this rock in my pocket every. single. day.  Every time I reach into my pocket to grab a pen, some change, chapstick, or even lint and my hand brushes against that rock I think of Kaila.  I try to make it a practice to quickly pray for her in that moment as well...if I'm being honest, then I have to say that I don't always do that but I try.  I have carried this rock in my pocket since my junior year at college.  I was on a retreat with other ministry students as part of our curriculum.  We had lots of opportunities to reflect and pray and whatnot.  During some quiet time at the retreat I splashed around in a little creek and I was thinking about Kaila and our relationship.  We had not yet said "I love you" and I was unsure whether it was too early to say this dreaded phrase.  I felt that I did love her but I wanted to make sure that it was what God wanted for both of us.  I was looking into the clear water and the pebbles and rocks beneath my feet (barefoot, naturally) and a rock stood out to me.  It wasn't fancy.  Brown. Rocky.  Smooth.  Almost a perfect rectangle shape.  I liked it.  But it was just a rock.  I picked it up and held it in my hand while praying for Kaila and for our relationship.  It was time to move forward and the group was moving up the trail and the rest of the day wore on and I stuck the rock in my pocket.  At the end of the day the group got back to the place we were staying and I emptied out my pockets and there was this rock...I instantly went back to that moment with my feet in the stream and the sunlight pouring down on me between the leaves and branches above.  Thinking of love and God and direction.  There was a Sharpie on the bed next to mine and so I grabbed it real quick and wrote Kaila's name on it, smiled, and set it back down.  [Side note: I accidentally ended up stealing the Sharpie and it was my professors...sorry James].

Since that day I have made that rock a very specific part of my routine.  I eventually did tell Kaila that I loved her!  And then, several months later, I asked her to marry me!!! This rock takes me back to that day in the stream when I felt God encourage me to pursue Kaila further and to chase after love.

To Kaila,

I love you so dearly.  I am sorry when I suck and I am so happy for your love.  I am excited for the rest of our life and whatever God may have in store for us!  I love you, boo!

What does it mean to engage in an honest pursuit of Truth?

First thing I want to say, briefly, is an apology for my seeming lack of a post last week.  I actually did post but it was a draft I had written up back in February but hadn't found a good time to post.  So it apparently posted with the original draft date instead of for last week.  I have since learned that I am a dingus and have learned how to make sure that doesn't happen again =)

Short Version:

Now, I have a small confession: I listen to Catholic radio almost daily.  I am not saying anything bad about the Catholic Church!  Please recognize that right now.  I am a firm believer that we can learn truth from anyone.  The Spirit has equal opportunity and ability to speak Truth by various modes and means.  I do not agree with the Catholic Church on certain theological issues or some points of policy.  There is no need to list these here.  However, I sincerely appreciate the Catholic respect for the authority of Scripture, the reverence for mystery of the faith, and the appreciation for the tradition of the Church.  I have been able to grow from listening to Catholic radio, believe it or not.  I have been stretched by the study of scripture and of tradition and of God on the radio.  Weird, right?

I have an overwhelming appreciation for Dietrich Bonhoeffer as well.  In my senior year I was "forced" to read the biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer written by Eric Metaxas and, while biographies are rarely fun to read, I are it up.  I loved it.  I learned from the life of Bonhoeffer.  I was stretched and challenged.  Again, theology and policy might be different, but I still learned and grew so much from him.  I have had the privilege to grow from his life and works despite the fact that he was forgotten by many and studied by few.

Why am I talking about any of this?  Because I think it is imperative that we keep open minds and open hears.  Because I know that there is so much more to learn and to grow and that there is so much more stretching to take place.  Am I saying that listening to Catholic radio and reading a biography of a Lutheran theologian are life changing? Not necessarily.  Am I saying that these things, and others, can bring us closer to God?  I think I am.  Whether I reject or accept any truth put before me makes no difference...unless it is the Truth that I am rejecting.  But as long as I do so by searching in honest pursuit of Truth, rejection or acceptance of these truths matter almost none at all.  I have found that it is often the pursuit of Truth that really promotes the growth in my life, and maybe others', too..  And if that is the case, then to reject Truth is sin.  The Truth that brings us closer to right relationship with God and with others.  If that is our intention, then I think we can grow closer to God by keeping open hearts and open minds to those of other beliefs, theologies, policies, practices, worldviews, etc.

Always Seeking Truth,


Dylan

My Attempt to Further Understand Gospel

What exactly is the Gospel message? I have always thought and always been told that it is salvation, plain and simple. It encompasses so much more than that, but it is still salvation at its core. But...is that true? I am not at all doubting the Gospel as salvation, please don't think that! Although, I was recently offered another interpretation. Maybe not a different interpretation, but something added...




In a video with Mark Batterson, as part of his series called "Trading Your If Only Regrets for God's What If Possibilities," he begin to clarify on what he meant when he talked about Gospel. He references 2 Corinthians 5:21, "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (ESV).  Then, Batterson spoke about how when we confess our sins they are transferred to Christ on the cross - salvation. Our sins are taken away and they died on the cross with Christ. He took the punishment for those sins and they are more than adequately paid for. But then, Batterson adds that there is a second "transaction" that takes place.  The righteousness of Christ is then transferred to us.

To summarize what he seems to be suggesting: when we confess our sins they are transferred to Christ and forgiven and then the righteousness of Christ is given to us in return.  Let me just say that this seems simple and carries the "duh" factor with it, but wow does it make such a big difference.  At least to me.  I totally get the transfer of sins to Christ on the cross.  I readily see that in 2 Corinthians 5:21 here (and in other Scripture obviously).  What I seem to have missed was this transfer of righteousness.  And I think what I am wrestling with here is exactly what that righteousness means...

From what I know and understand of the Greek dikaiosyne (dih-kai-ah-soo-nay), which honestly is not that much, there is a lot of debate surrounding the exact translation of the term.  It seems that it is a difficult word to translate because it has two meanings from the Hebraic roots that are separate concepts in English.  In the Hebraic/Jewish context the word seems to stand for "judicial approval" as well as "divine approval." (I am simplifying here and have made no attempts at an in-depth word study) It appears that this word means to be in "right standing" with the authorities, to be on the right side of the law, and it means to be in "right standing" with God, as well.  In English, there really just isn't a great word that encompasses both of these meanings.  Righteousness in English really means closer to the idea of "divine approval."  Actually, I am not sure that I have ever thought of the term righteous as having to do anything with "judicial approval."  

Let's roll with these ideas, though, just briefly.  Jesus was understood to be righteous, obviously.  So he was in correct standing with the authorities and with God.  Except...he wasn't.  As far as judicial approval goes, he was quite far away from the standard presented at the time.  Off the map, actually.  I don't think that anyone at the time would have argued for Jesus' right standing among the authorities and with the Law, except for his followers.  However, we know that Jesus was indeed in right standing with the Law!  Not just the Law of the Pharisees but the true Law of God.  The Law of Love, which Jesus presented to his followers.  

I don't think I need to make the argument for his right standing with God.  Jesus is God.  I am not sure there is much more I can say without getting into an entirely different, and much longer, discussion.

So, where do we stand now?  The Gospel message is entirely about salvation.  But it does seem to be in two parts!  When we confess our sins and accept the call of Jesus the Christ those sins are transferred to the cross of Christ and are dead and forgiven entirely.  But then the righteousness of Christ is transferred to us.  This righteousness is his standing with the Law of Love and his standing with God.  And by this it means that, upon accepting Christ, our sins are forgiven and we go from living separated from God by sin to being reconciled with Him and then we are immediately gifted with this righteousness that puts us in good standing with God on all levels.  It is so much more than salvation as we tend to think about it.  This is salvation with even more grace thrown on top.  Not only are our sins forgiven, we are given a head start into our new life.  I am truly struggling to communicate clearly what I think this means for us and for that I truly apologize.  It is a slight nuance but the slightest nuances can make a world of difference.  

In my attempt to understand I oftentimes can muddle things up. As always, comments and questions are appreciated in these thoughts and ramblings. 

Seeking Truth,

Dylan

People Pleasers, Truth Speakers, and Paul

I just have a brief thought to post today.  I waffled back and forth on whether or not to expand on what I am about to say but I think it is a simple point and it doesn't need to be weighed down...

In Galatians Paul is writing a harsh word to the church.  He is being open and honest with them and can be almost cutting at times in his sincerity.  In Galatians 4:16-18 we see Paul write, "Have I now become your enemy because I am telling you the truth?  Those false teachers are so eager to win your favor, but their intentions are not good.  They are trying to shut you off from me so that you will pay attention only to them.  If someone is eager to do good things for you, that's all right; but let them do it all the time, not just when I'm with you."  Paul is bringing them a truth that is hard to speak but even harder to hear.  Essentially, he is calling them out on their garbage with the intention of making them stronger.  Sometimes in life we are blessed with people that will speak a harsh word in truth in order to make us stronger and better.  Sometimes we have people in our life that tell us what we want to hear because they ultimately do not care about us or because they are trying to seek some gain.  Now, there are those, myself included, that are people pleasers and it is much easier to tell someone what they want to hear than to possibly harm or disappoint them in some way.  I am guilty of that.  People like myself, people pleasers, do not do with bad intentions.  But maybe the results are the same sometimes.  I have been blessed to have a few people in my life that have spoken some truth to me that I absolutely did not want to hear.  They were not fun things to hear but necessary and good for me.  Kind of like when you have to take pills that are meant for horses to swallow, not humans.  Ultimately for good but not fun at all.  This is where Paul is coming from when he speaks to the Galatians.  He is giving them something exceedingly difficult to swallow but he desperately wants them to learn and grow for it and he only does it out of his overwhelming love for them.  Where am I going with this?  If you haven't figured it out yet, all I am saying is this:

Find those people that love you enough to tell you the truth and speak to you open and honestly because they are the ones that will bring you closer and closer to Jesus in your walk with Him.  If you aren't religious at all, then those people will help you develop into a more well-rounded human being.  Plain and simple.  You NEED these people in your life.  If you are blessed enough to have a person like that in your life already, then HOLD ON TO THEM!  AND THANK THEM FOR IT!

This blog has been started because I want to seek the Truth.  Whatever that may be.  So themes of truth and honesty are huge to me.  Living a life in Christ is living a life in constant pursuit of finding and living Truth.  Real, tangible, Christ-likeness sort of Truth.

Thank you all who read, as always.


Seeking Truth,

Dylan

Navigating the Slumpy Mires of Life...Kinda...

Sometimes I don't have much to say.  Other days I write and talk prolifically (aka word vomit).  Last week was one of those instances in which I had very little to say and almost nothing to share.  It was one of those weeks when I just wanted to take a break from everyone and everything.  It wasn't that things were necessarily bad or that life was crazy busy.  I just didn't feel like talking and sharing.

That feeling persisted up until yesterday evening.

It was Wednesday which means that youth group was coming up.  To be honest, I was less than excited.  I had read what I was teaching on but I hadn't prepared.  All day at work I had it in the back of my mind.  I got home and try to hammer out some stuff.  I found some cool commentary information and had a fun idea and so on and so on.  Everything came together well.  Not that it was overwhelmingly awesome.  It was alright.  Not that good of a lesson.  Nothing special.  Just another thing.  It was getting closer to time for youth and I was taking the lengthy drive to the church.  Not thinking about much.  Just doing what needed to be done.

When I got to the church I walked in, saw some teens run around and said hello to some people.  I popped my head into the youth room, stood next to the adults for a minute, realized how awkward I was and went to get coffee.  I got some coffee and came back to the youth room...this is where things turned.  I was walking towards the adults and said to myself, "I'm closer to most of the teens age than their ages...I'm gonna go hang out with some teens because I have nothing to talk about with these adults."  So I did.

I walked into the gym and saw some crazy teenagers running around with a basketball with all but the safety lights turned off.  One kid was just running around looking for a basketball because he wanted to play.  I sipped on my coffee and talked to some of them as they ran around, stopping long enough to respond to whatever I was asking them.  I slouched against a wall and just sat there chatting with a handful of them, again while they ran around (playing dodgeball I guess except everyone was running wherever they wanted to...maybe they were just running around just because).  I was enjoying it a lot!  It was great to just chill and chat with the students.  Then the guys started taking three point shots and half-court shots and we were all laughing and cutting up with one another.  Funny side note: one student decided to try and dunk the basketball and ran up and it looked like he might get close and then another student raised the rim by just a couple inches at the last second and the whole thing turned into a fail but we all laughed about it (including the student going for the dunk, so please don't think that he was being picked on because he was cool with it, too).

Eventually, one of the adults called for everyone to come on because it was time for groups.  It was time to teach on the passage that I wasn't so sure about.  We all went upstairs and the students came in to the class...all three of them...there were usually 7-9 students so we were at less than half of our typical crowd!  My teaching lesson was not prepared for such a drastic change so it was time to do what I always do when things are not entirely going my way: I threw it out and decided to wing it.  Holy Spirit speak, I prayed.  What happened next completely caught me off guard!

We wrote our names on the board for a mini game we play every week now and I wrote mine in Greek for some reason.  It was perfect, though.  For the next fifteen minutes we talked about Greek and I showed them the alphabet, the sounds they make, some fun words, and other random stuff.  In case y'all didn't know, I love Greek.  I geek out about Greek.  After that I got to take a passage of scripture that probably had little to no meaning to these three students in middle school and make it something easy to understand and applicable.  Whatever that means to different people...but more importantly I had the blessed opportunity to, in whatever teeny-tiny way, educate and disciple others in the ways of Christ.  I literally came alive while at youth that night.  I got to spend time with teens, build relationships, teach some Greek, and then I got to teach a difficult passage in a way to make it understandable for middle school teenagers!  It was truly great!

Now, this is not just a journal entry in my public diary...I ain't about that...I promise that this has all been leading somewhere.  I know that 99.9% of anyone ever has, at some point in their life, succumbed to the day-to-day routine and pulled away from everything that makes us truly feel and live.  Maybe that isn't a bad place to be in life from time to time, minus the pulling away from things.  However, I think that there is a lot to be said about the process of going through those moments.  They teach us something.  I have not had any luck of finding my vocational ministry niche, yet.  But what I learned yesterday was that I come alive when I am working with people, especially teens, and doing what is necessary in order to educate and disciple people into better understanding and relationship with Christ.  I think that is the key to getting out of these slumpy mires of life.  I truly believe that each Christian is called, in some degree or another, to be in ministry somewhere and somehow.  It is not that I am saying that everyone is called to be a pastor of some sort.  Some people really shouldn't be, honestly.  Sorry, that is just how it is sometimes.  What I am saying is that Jesus tells us in Matthew to make and mature disciples and that means that all of us are called to do just that.  For some that is translating scripture to peoples around the world that do not have scripture in their language yet.  For others it might be making lasagna and writing a kind letter for their neighbor across the hall whose mother recently died.  For some others it might be running for some political position in order to do good work at a governmental level.  All I am saying is that there is a passion somewhere inside of you and God wants you to do exactly that for Him and His people.  So go do it.  That is the best way to get out of the mires of life: lean into Jesus and do good for Him.  (side note: sometimes we have to do things we aren't passionate about in order to do good for God as well).  I hope this makes sense and I didn't ramble on too much with my story earlier.  Thank you to all who read.  I deeply appreciate and respect you!!!

Seeking Truth,


Dylan Miller