A good friend of mine posed a question to me the other day. He said, "Do you have things you do to de-stress from the week?" I think I answered with something really lame but that conversation included four other dudes and so the conversation quickly moved away from my response and no one brought it up again, much to my relief. As I reflect on that question, though, I have come to a realization. I really don't have a healthy way to de-stress. At college one way I would de-stress is have intense conversations about God and theology and religion (all of them). Those conversations breathed life into me. I don't think I knew it at the time. I was blessed to have a conversation like that with four very close friends and it reminded me again and gave me such a sense of peace. It was like all the thoughts had been building up in my head, creating some pressure, and I was able to get everything off my chest, process with the counsel of four other believers, and the pressure was relieved. Did we solve any major issues? No. Did we disagree? On several points. Did we leave that conversation thinking less of any of the others? NO WAY! It was a beautiful discussion about how we work in tandem with God to the world. Each of us coming from different perspectives and different belief systems but each of us were able to express our thoughts, comment on the others, and process through a tough issue together.
The topic of the discussion doesn't matter. What matters is how it was handled. I would like to share another of these conversations I had with one of my coworkers. Let's call her Amy. Amy wears a hijab and covers almost all of her skin except for her hands and face. I thought it was a pretty good bet that she was a Muslim but I didn't think much of it. She is funny and she is kind. We have talked in passing (we work different shifts) and have had some brief conversations about random life and stuff. Work chatter. Then, one day, the topic of religion was opened up. I often bring projects to work on while I work because it can get slow. This time I had brought some material for youth group and I had left it open. One of my other coworkers saw it and asked what religion I was. I mumbled something offhanded because I thought it seemed like an obvious answer. Amy laughed thinking it was obvious, too. Then, I finished up my work, packed up my stuff, and started to leave. But then...for some reason...I turned to Amy and asked, "Do people ask you what religion you are a lot?" Amy rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, all the time!" We started a conversation from there and were able to talk a lot about both of our religions. The conversation was less about what we believed and more about why we practiced and what the purpose was. For Amy it seemed that it was something that has meant a lot more to her recently, though I didn't ask that specifically. She discussed her struggles with some of the rules of her faith (a lot of which are broken against her will because of American customs, by the way) and how people just do not understand it. She told me about a story in which a truck driver called her a "f***ing Muslim" and how it was all "her peoples" fault for the way the world and America is now. Amy shared with me about how people can be extremely mean and rude to her because of the way she dresses and because of what she believes. At the end of the conversation, right before I left, I apologized for asking so many questions and mentioned that I hoped that I hadn't offended her or been too curious. She assured me that I hadn't bothered her and that she appreciated me listening. I thanked Amy for the great conversation and she thanked me, too.
A simple conversation. Two very different faiths, belief systems, and opinions on life and on God. In fact, oftentimes two opposing religions entirely. Neither Amy nor I set out to convert the other. We still haven't since. We have had other conversations similar to this one and they have all been great! I took the long way around to start this blog because I think it is important to have some background on the conversation my four friends and I had. Imagine that conversation if we all had gotten angry and upset at one another. When we worship the same God and follow the same faith. Think of how that could have gone. Then think of how, more often than not, those conversations do go down a bad path...apply that to the conversation I had with Amy...
How can we have healthy, life-giving conversations with non-believers when we are at each other's throats over theological differences that truly aren't so different?? Yes, I will give you that some issues are worth arguing over because there are certain doctrines that are core to the Christian faith and those should not be shaken. Most of our theological differences boil down to differences in interpretation of Scriptures and, sometimes, what we consider to be Scriptures. They are not discussions worthy of such division among the family of Christ.
Let me summarize what I am trying to say...Family. Please, please, please stop bickering over theology and start speaking in love and understanding and agreement (even in the midst disagreement). Before we try and convince the world it is broken, we should probably check our own hearts. Let's stop arguing and start communicating. Then let's go out and communicate with others in love and understanding.
Always Seeking Truth,
Dylan
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