My wife, Kaila, is such a wonderful, beautiful person inside and out. I love being married. I love her deeply. That being said...like any married couple (or anyone in any relationship) we fight. Sometimes a lot and sometimes not at all. It's really a toss up from day to day. There are days when I can be a complete and total butthead. And there are days when she is an angel and I'm a demon. Every once in a while she is less than cuddly, too! But here is where I am going with this...
...This rock on the right is just a rock with Kaila's name written on it in Sharpie. It is nothing special. Except that it is to me. I keep this rock in my pocket every. single. day. Every time I reach into my pocket to grab a pen, some change, chapstick, or even lint and my hand brushes against that rock I think of Kaila. I try to make it a practice to quickly pray for her in that moment as well...if I'm being honest, then I have to say that I don't always do that but I try. I have carried this rock in my pocket since my junior year at college. I was on a retreat with other ministry students as part of our curriculum. We had lots of opportunities to reflect and pray and whatnot. During some quiet time at the retreat I splashed around in a little creek and I was thinking about Kaila and our relationship. We had not yet said "I love you" and I was unsure whether it was too early to say this dreaded phrase. I felt that I did love her but I wanted to make sure that it was what God wanted for both of us. I was looking into the clear water and the pebbles and rocks beneath my feet (barefoot, naturally) and a rock stood out to me. It wasn't fancy. Brown. Rocky. Smooth. Almost a perfect rectangle shape. I liked it. But it was just a rock. I picked it up and held it in my hand while praying for Kaila and for our relationship. It was time to move forward and the group was moving up the trail and the rest of the day wore on and I stuck the rock in my pocket. At the end of the day the group got back to the place we were staying and I emptied out my pockets and there was this rock...I instantly went back to that moment with my feet in the stream and the sunlight pouring down on me between the leaves and branches above. Thinking of love and God and direction. There was a Sharpie on the bed next to mine and so I grabbed it real quick and wrote Kaila's name on it, smiled, and set it back down. [Side note: I accidentally ended up stealing the Sharpie and it was my professors...sorry James].
Since that day I have made that rock a very specific part of my routine. I eventually did tell Kaila that I loved her! And then, several months later, I asked her to marry me!!! This rock takes me back to that day in the stream when I felt God encourage me to pursue Kaila further and to chase after love.
To Kaila,
I love you so dearly. I am sorry when I suck and I am so happy for your love. I am excited for the rest of our life and whatever God may have in store for us! I love you, boo!
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